Well, what a fitting debut to a glistening season of frocks and possibly a few shocks – The Golden Globes. (Strike me down with a feather – I’ve just started my New Years Resolutions & here we are neck deep in Red Carpet fashion). So, without further ado, the rundown of my favourite award show– The Golden Globes.
Tina Fey and Amy Poehler – you are my heroes. Hilairious – with such a gift for natural comedic timing (that Bill Cosby gibe sealed the deal). While I really don’t care what they wear, because they are SO funny, I loved Amy Poehler’s opening outfit by Stella McCartney - it was simple, a great colour and cut for her, plus, teamed with an amazing statement necklace by Irene Neuwirth that reflected the purple hues of the frock. Love!
All eyes were on Mrs Clooney – her first outing with GC (who fittingly was awarded the Cecil B Demille Award) since the nuptials in Venice. Now, as you know, I LOVE her. I even loved the white gloves & clutch that accesorised her black silk crepe Dior Haute Couture gown. I love the whole package. BUT, I do not love the bag of bones physique. It makes me feel…hungry. Ditto to Guiliana Rancic (seriously girlfriend – you look emaciated).
Doing it Right in Yellow
My two fave gowns of the night were in the hue of yellow – a colour that takes a certain amount of panache to really pull off. But when that gear all comes together – magic happens.
Naomi Watts was resplendant in a yellow, strapless silk Gucci gown, teamed with a Bulgari diamond snake necklace that I could literally (literally) kill for, and just the right coiffed do with a red statement lip. She was indeed the real deal.
Another little yellow number that caught my attention was on the divine Jenna Dewan Tatum. She is a pretty little professional “actress” and dancer, who looked gorgeous in a strapless lemon number by Carolina Herrera, and accesorised with the world’s tidiest handbag (no not the gold Jimmy Choo clutch) – CHANNING! (Oh yes, it sucks to be Jenna).
I know, quelle surprise, JLo looked hot. It’s nearly tiresome how smoking this woman is. But yes, she did do it again, and (surprise, surprise, surprise) in a spangled dress/cape scenario, plunging of course to the navel, with a crutch-high split by Zuhair Murad (no, a Zuhair Murad!). My only criticism? Apart from seeing this silhouette on her before – she was also sporting too much fake tan. She would look way more sophisticated, if she put the brakes on with all that JLo Bronzer. But I guess she’s got a product to sell. (And what with the 25 million dollar a year salary on Idol – a girl’s gotta make a buck.) Still, that burgundy toned smokey eye – be still my beating heart!
Catherine Zeta Jones, having walked miles of the RC in her time, embodied old Hollywood Red Carpet glamour. She was magnificent in an Angel Sanchez strapless red gown. Dark mane on show, but elegantly drawn off her face to showcase H. Stern diamond drop earrings, and THE perfect smokey eye. Yep, she worked it like a boss.
I loved, loved Emma Stone’s Lanvin jumpsuit. (Big Eyes) And teamed with her beautiful ivory complexion, cool hair – this was a seriously chic move.
Jessica Chastain showed us how sexy hair and make-up can transform a girl-next-door into a total vixen. She was unrecognisably hot. And that bronze, pleated, full length gown by Atelier Versace with plunging neckline – watch out JLo! (In your dreams Jessica).
Salma Hayek wore a strapless white dress by Alexander Mcqueen that looked to be made from expensive bedding, but bedding nonetheless. I mean, our little Latino friend Salma could look quite fetching in a bed-sheet, but not when it’s teamed with a floral hair accessory, drop diamond earrings AND diamond cuffs. Put the brakes on please. And stop wearing bed quilts on the RC.
Kerry Washington is a repeat offender of the RC – but this time a repeat offender in a crimson, shiney coloured bedspread by Mary Katranntzou. Why? Help me understand why a woman with such beauty gets it so wrong. I expect more at The Oscars (and by more, I don’t mean more bed-quilt dresses).
Grand Dame Cougars in Red
Red, like the colour yellow, takes a certain someone to really give the colour justice.
Jane Fonda showed us how it’s done in a sexy red Versace gown – hello, she rocks a safety-pin dress in her 70s! And Dame Helen Mirren showed off her curves in a stunning fitted red Dolce and Gabbana gown.
I really didn’t care that Jared Leto sported a braid. Seriously, all the kids are doing it now. It’s the fact he looked like a deer in the headlights with his semi-startled gaze and frozen forehead. He need not go for another Botox appointment till The Globes 2017. Or, better still – never.
Kate Hudson – looked sensational in a white Atelier Versace gown (couldn’t you just see every lunge, push-up and green shake) yet it was the other “work” that stood out to me. That Botox job really took something from her usual lively, sparkly face. Shame.
Red – I’m Not Worthy
Lena Dunham, again, looked ordinary in a red Zac Posen, and the worse part about it – this actually was the best she has looked on the RC. And while she clearly is no fashionista (horses for courses) I do get annoyed when I see designers, who seem to not be able to pull out a flattering silhouette for a normal sized woman. And I’m just going to say it out loud: Lena is not ready to be wearing red. I don’t know if she’ll ever be ready.
Ditto to whoever dressed Cheryl Strayed (I know – she’s new to this game, but best to learn now). This dress was absolutely the wrong shape and cut for her. And red? I don’t think so my friend. Not worthy. And furthermore, both these ladies are probably a size 12 and could look amazing, but are victim to designers who do not have a clue on how to design for a normal sized woman. They just throw red at it and hope for the best.
And now I’ve stepped off my soapbox…until of course my next Red Carpet review. The Oscars Red Carpet – you better bring it.