Well, things got a WHOLE lot more (or less) interesting last night.
Firstly, Sam in that dress! This was a real Cinderella moment for young Sam who was wearing a grey flannel T-Shirt and tea-cozy styled beanie at the time of her unveiling the incredible, pale pink, crystal beaded gown gifted to her by “Blake”. Once attired, coiffed and suitably made up – wearing even the right coloured foundation for a change, Sam looked stunning and …even elegant. The rough edges appeared to have been magically smoothed out – well, until she totally lost it AGAIN! (I mean we had already weathered tears and convulsions at the jewellery establishment Bunda where “Blake arranged” for her to borrow pieces for their date. Hello, just load yourself up with diamond cuffs and necklaces. Own that gear!) Later at The Victoria Tea Rooms, with a classical pianist on hand, Blake being a massive sop-bag thought it was now a perfect time to slow dance. Sam clearly had never been in a slow dance sitch before. And already being on a knife’s edge with all the finery this date was bringing, she panicked about her “Champagne breath”. I was in a foetal position with awkes (massively awkward situation) when, poised in Blake’s arms ready to slow dance, Sam reached for her mints tucked into her bra which motioned said mints to fall down her dress and into her NAVEL. The lesson here: drink more Champagne then you won’t worry about Champagne breath or your lack of co-ordination re: slow dancing. Because this mint fiasco was a total vibe killer (even though she still got a rose).
Thing didn’t go quite so well after Laurina’s #mintgate. She basically lost the whole gig due to her paranoia about offensive breath. Do you know what is really offensive? Breaking a “moment’ with Blake to find your clutch, so you can then STICK A MINT IN YOUR MOUTH! What is wrong with these girls? But let’s face it; the mints were just the beginning of her catastrophic downfall. She totally spiralled. I haven’t seen anyone free-fall this badly throughout the whole season. And worse still, she thought by listing the position of her apartment in Melbourne and its proximity to all the restaurants and bars and the real estate opportunities available for Blake, was answering his question which was along the lines of: “Do you see future with us? “Classic Laurina. IT. Was. A. Car-crash. Yet what made it so golden was her belief that they were both “open and present” which made her feel “confidant”. I think by the time she was seated in the back of the limo – the penny may have dropped. Still, we will all miss Laurina. Her self-assured ways, wide green eyes that rarely blinked and frozen forehead were spectacular to watch. Sad-face.
And there was another revelation last night. After the truly hilarious white-girl-belly-dance-off on the group date, there was of course – Jess, who was in fighting form. On their one-on-one, Jess took the foot off the brake and just showered Blake with gushing, unadulterated, sweet adulation (“my heart feels that…you light up a room when you walk in it…my heart races faster when you hold my hand”). Even HE found this so saccharine, his eyes were visibly heavy with a possible a sugar-induced catatonic state imminent. THEN he later let the cat out of the bag: “I have great chemistry with Jess but I feel I have a deeper connection with some of the other girls…” I had 50 bucks on her to win!
But now, I’m not so sure….
Bachelor loving Glams do share: who will go home tonight and who is a front-runner?
And is my life missing something? (Bachie Bingo?)