Summer, I’m Not Ready!

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The smatter of spring is in the air. That unmistakable stir in the atmos that something exciting is about to happen. Longer sunny days, balmier temps – it all points to the inevitable – sleeveless dresses and swimwear. And hello – I am NOT READY! 20150718_102919

The bare limbs are presently not any state to be seen by the human eye. And really, it’s as though it’s come completely out of the blue, this spring/summer business. I mean, who possibly knew that after months of being ensconced in velour, knitwear and other body morphing fabrics, that I would be literally HURLED into the warmer months of September – October. THEN the real dealio of SUMMER from December to whenever it stops being a heat-wave. Judging by the soft, fleshy outer layer, it seems to be a new phenomenon despite it happening many a (every) year before.20150520_125018

And even winter left me behind the fashion eight-ball. While all the slim-waisted girlies were donning nipped in skirts with cute crop tops, I still had to keep my middle age spread under wraps. I guess the sad truth is, I am kind of middle aged and it’s freaking me out. Fashion is making it clear to me that maybe I have to shop at old lady stores.David Jones launches the Spring-Summer 2015 season

Take for example the latest offerings from David Jones seen on the exquisite Jessica Gomes  and young lithe young friends during the Spring/Summer launch last week .Jessica+Gomes+David+Jones+Spring+Summer+2015+-D-_iL-7qNRl

Fresh off the catwalk, you heard it first: White is the New Black. Yea, have you seen me in white? No, because I’m slovenly and it quickly becomes white with makeup stains and chocolate fingerprints – so there goes that idea.

The next en trend trend: Back Cutouts.The sternum on show? Please. This sternum hasn’t seen daylight for a quarter of a century, let’s keep it that way.

And it’s not summer David Jones launches the Spring-Summer 2015 without: Plunginging Neckline Boho Dresses. Look, I love me a bit of boho, but what do I do with the girls? The ta-tahs? Busty friends, you feeling me? I’m sure we would all love to swan around like a white winged dove with our deep V-maxi frock, but seriously, we would look more like a reality show contestant than Stevie Nicks.main_jessica_gomes_david_jones_interview_1as64u1-1as64us

Then, the Eighties Inspired Swimwear also with cutouts; I am still having trouble with 90s swimwear without cutouts, so let’s don’t get ahead of ourselves (or behind ourselves).

So where do we go from here? I can’t spend the entire season in different versions of a Camilla kaftan. Hello, pedestrian much. I love fashion. I want to wear cute 70s inspired outfits too. I must get a grip – this is NOT the time to surrender to premature mid-life ageing lying down. No siree.

Maybe it’s time to tidy up that sloppy 5:2 sometimes 7:7 diet of mine; put the Champagne flute down, commit to an exercise program and stop the fun, social eating even though I’m a fun, social girl. Sigh.

Next blog, I get the dealio on how to make a start with getting that summer(ish) body in winter before it’s too late.

Arrrhhhhhhggg! (Primal scream.)


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