The smatter of spring is in the air. That unmistakable stir in the atmos that something exciting is about to happen. Longer sunny days, balmier temps – it all points to the inevitable – sleeveless dresses and swimwear. And hello – I am NOT READY!
The bare limbs are presently not any state to be seen by the human eye. And really, it’s as though it’s come completely out of the blue, this spring/summer business. I mean, who possibly knew that after months of being ensconced in velour, knitwear and other body morphing fabrics, that I would be literally HURLED into the warmer months of September – October. THEN the real dealio of SUMMER from December to whenever it stops being a heat-wave. Judging by the soft, fleshy outer layer, it seems to be a new phenomenon despite it happening many a (every) year before.
And even winter left me behind the fashion eight-ball. While all the slim-waisted girlies were donning nipped in skirts with cute crop tops, I still had to keep my middle age spread under wraps. I guess the sad truth is, I am kind of middle aged and it’s freaking me out. Fashion is making it clear to me that maybe I have to shop at old lady stores.
Fresh off the catwalk, you heard it first: White is the New Black. Yea, have you seen me in white? No, because I’m slovenly and it quickly becomes white with makeup stains and chocolate fingerprints – so there goes that idea.
The next en trend trend: Back Cutouts.The sternum on show? Please. This sternum hasn’t seen daylight for a quarter of a century, let’s keep it that way.
And it’s not summer 2015 without: Plunginging Neckline Boho Dresses. Look, I love me a bit of boho, but what do I do with the girls? The ta-tahs? Busty friends, you feeling me? I’m sure we would all love to swan around like a white winged dove with our deep V-maxi frock, but seriously, we would look more like a reality show contestant than Stevie Nicks.
Then, the Eighties Inspired Swimwear also with cutouts; I am still having trouble with 90s swimwear without cutouts, so let’s don’t get ahead of ourselves (or behind ourselves).
So where do we go from here? I can’t spend the entire season in different versions of a Camilla kaftan. Hello, pedestrian much. I love fashion. I want to wear cute 70s inspired outfits too. I must get a grip – this is NOT the time to surrender to premature mid-life ageing lying down. No siree.
Maybe it’s time to tidy up that sloppy 5:2 sometimes 7:7 diet of mine; put the Champagne flute down, commit to an exercise program and stop the fun, social eating even though I’m a fun, social girl. Sigh.
Next blog, I get the dealio on how to make a start with getting that summer(ish) body in winter before it’s too late.
Arrrhhhhhhggg! (Primal scream.)