The Oscars 2013

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The grand finale of the award season: The Oscars.

So, from the comfort of my leather lounge, glass of Mumm at arm’s reach, here are the frills and spills of The 85th Academy Awards.

Got It One (when an amazing gown meets perfect hair and make-up):

Jessica Chastain: True classic, Hollywood siren clad in a beautiful fleshy-peach coloured, sequined, strapless Armani Prive and adequately accessorised with Harry Winston diamond earrings and cuff. Perfect hair – cascading yet coiffed red locks, with classic make-up, brought together by a statement red lip. Stunning!

Amy Adams: Heavenly in a soft powder grey Oscar de la Renta strapless gown with frou-fra skirt. Beautifully jewelled and accessorised with a romantic up-do and pretty, soft make-up.

Charlitze Theron: Goddess. Who can don a pixie cut and look so bloody good? Amazing. Christian Dior Couture. Harry Winston jewels. Sexy yet classic. Divine!

Australians Do It Better:

Nicole Kidman: She rarely puts a Louboutin clad foot wrong and again nails it in this tres chic, very Oscars looking sequined L’Wren Scott gown. It’s like she was born on the Red Carpet.

Naomi Watts: Hello Hollywood! While it’s been quite the sea of strapless, Naomi totally went there and was head and shoulders above the rest in this uber glamorous and striking Armani Prive masterpiece. Hair and make-up: tick.

Jackie Weaver: Finally, her stylist got it right with a beautiful, richly coloured Rana Salem.  The 30 carats of “blood-free” diamonds certainly didn’t go astray with the $2 million worth of jewels. Jackie’s make-up and hair was also spot on (good job David Stanwell).

Veteran Glamazons Know it:

Jane Fonda: A yellow Versace number with killer shoulder-pads, cut out feature in the back, and an 80’s gold embllished waist. What’s not to love?

Catherine Zeta-Jones: Dressed like a Gold Logie in Zuhair Murad and Lorraine Schwartz jewels, yet still uber-licious. Forever, a true veteran Glamourpuss. No messy up-dos and barely there make-up for this RC queen.

Halle Berry: She had me at the long metallic sleeve and the plunging neckline. So sophisticatedly clad in Versace, while still showcasing her ridiculous body and her most amazing décolletage. Criminal!



When Bad Style Happens to Good Talent:

Nora Jones: Bad 60’s hair robbed her of her youth.

Melissa McCarthy: Travesty. Looked horrendous in a big grey sack. Just awful. Surely we can do better?

 Attired similarly to every other event and as matronly as ever. Can we sex her up? Just for the fun of it?


Not Quite:

Jennifer Lawrence: She is a delightful looking young lady who wore a delightful Christian Dior gown. But the hair and make-up let her down meaning – she didn’t own it. Sorry J-Law. (But hey, Best Actress Gong).

Amanda Seyfried: I loved this dress by McQueen BUT again; her look didn’t come together because the make-up artist didn’t go there (Amanda, call me). Imagine, if the foot was off the break and we saw a stronger, more smokier eye teamed with incredible coiffed hair? I mean, seriously, the messy up-do? Not hot enough for our young Cossette.

Anne Hathaway: Underwhelming. Great make-up and hair but the Prada gown? It looked like a formal dress from Mr. K, snagged off the rack at Myers.(But hey, Best Supporting Actress Gong.)


Word of the night: “Grateful”. A  little more evolved than last season’s word: “surreal”.


In My Dreams: Bradley Cooper rocking facial hair, slicked back hair AND bringing his Mum as his date (the spit of Deborah Lee-Furness). TOTAL package. Phwoar!


2 thoughts on “The Oscars 2013

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