Love From The Logies Red Carpet

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I know the Logies were so five days ago, but indulge me, and allow my Red Carpet rant.

Having never actually been on a Red Carpet (I know – you’re shocked by this), it was quite the eye-opener. Of course, there was the parade of sequins, silk, glitz, fake-tans with wide smiles and a backdrop of flashes, paparazzi and screaming tweens awaiting One Direction (it felt like home, but alas, I was there to do make-up) – what I didn’t know – it’s actually quite the hot-spot for a fabulous tete-a-tete with your Celebrity counterpart. I mean, why not make your glamorous entrance on the Red C and then bump into that gorgeous hunk you did a TV commercial with 10yrs ago? How timely, as one looks her finest – made-up within an inch of her life and dressed to the nines.

Quite the opposite to my world: Last week, slumping around the local shopping centre, having just finished a spin-class, wearing not a skerrick of make-up, premenstrual with hair still in a sweaty pony-tail, I saw across the floor the spunky Spanish thing I used to flirt with 12 years ago who was still clearly hot. Nearly paralysed with terror, I slipped into the nearest store before sashaying with mock nonchalance to the car-park.

Back to the Red Carpet: I am just going to say it out loud – Sonia Kruger owned it. I know what you’re all thinking – just because I do her make-up, I’m biased – but come-on people – she was the total Glamazon package: hot hair, beautiful make-up (if I don’t say so myself) and that amazing white, peplum Manning Cartel gown with Tiffany’s rose-gold accessories – Stunning!

Other notable mentions:

Lisa Wilkinson: Adorable and funky in an emerald green Ellie Saab frock that really encapsulated her style. Plus loved the girlish up-do and statement coral earrings.

Seal: He can work a white suit like no other. And I have to say, I was little blown away by his strong, masculine presence. Grrrrr…

Asher Keddie: I love Asher and she loves J’Aton (and a long acceptance speech). The J’Aton boys did create a beautifully intricate white and citrus coloured gown which reflected her quirkiness. But it was her hair and make-up that really let the team down. She needed to get her sex-on (Asher, call me).

Jennifer Hawkins: Really beautiful and elegant in Toni Maticevski – she looked lady-like in aqua satin but still maintained her sex-appeal with a thigh-high split and a playful bright-orange pump. Hot!

Verjayjay Arm and other No-Nos:

Obviously I need to say this AGAIN – when you are a little fuller-figured like my fine self – keep the tuck-shop arms and the chubby shoulders beautifully concealed in a sleeve. I witnessed many a Verjayjay arm – the consequence of a strapless gown on a larger frame. Just because, you throw on something spangly, does not mean we are blinded by the light so as not to see your wobbly bits. 

Age-Appropriate Glamour:

We also witnessed quite a few mature ladies who had literally thrown on the first Mr K polyester ball-gown they saw and then spent little time on salvaging the look with make-up and hair. (Glams, it’s all about the total package). A devil-may-care attitude simply won’t cut it and especially when you have some years under your belt.

Fake-Tan and Hair-Piece Overload

Put -the-breaks-on girls. We’re not in Jersey Shore.

Even though, I failed to get a photo with Flo Rider, Seal, Tony Bennet or One Direction – I did get a shot with local hunk Alex Dimitriades – so there. My work is done. Until next year…

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